Hi Mr. Widodo,
So, you won the election huh? Let me, as one of your voters, offer my heartfelt congratulations to you. Here’s hoping that you can actually do something to fix this rotting carcass of a city. That being said, I endeavour to keep this letter light and apolitical. You know. To set the right mood.
Take it easy, Mr. Widodo. You’re not gonna start until October. So you may not have a chance to let what actually happened today sink in. That bright, glorious light over yonder ain’t all that. But I guess you know this already. Don’t worry though. Personally I think you’re gonna be fine.
Now, I’m not a soothsayer, nor am I a farseer or fortune teller, so I’m not gonna go all ‘pengamat’ or ‘aktifis’ or ‘jurnalis’ and tell you what political problems you’ll have in the future. However, I’ve been living in this ratfuck city all my life, so I can tell you what to expect.
When you take over power in October, things are gonna start rosy. I remember hearing you speak in Pecha Kucha Jakarta back then and I’d have to say that Jakartans had been smitten with you since then. When you finally come here we are going to welcome you like a messiah. Because of who you are, I think Jakartans will give you a six months grace period in which they will love you like bleeding hearts and Indonesians love Obama. You’ll be like the Prophet where you can do no wrong. You’ll walk on water. For six months at least while we engage in all kinds of jubilation.
But then, the bitching will start.
I shit you not Jakartans are chronic bitchers. After that six months grace period, you can be assured that we will bitch at you. Every. Single. Day. About every. Single. Thing.
Don’t lose heart, though. This is just what we do. There is NOTHING you can do that someone will not bitch about. No policy will be anounced without complaints and moans and groans. You decide to expand the Transjakarta? People will bitch. You decide to increase the educations budget? People will bitch about the decrease of budgets somewhere else. You decide to hike cigarette prices? People will bitch. You decide to lower cigarette prices? People will bitch. You decide to build more parks? People will bitch about them. You decide to build less parks? People will bitch about them. Even if by some miracle you finally manage to solve the traffic jam situation, we will bitch about your solution, and then everything else. The smell, the sidewalks, the colors of the goddamn bridges, the type of trees in the goddamn parks, the type of grass you decide to grow, your choice of clothing, your wife, your child, every single thing. We are Jakartans. We complain.
Pretty bleak huh? Yep. It is. But as someone far wiser than me said before, you should take heart. Its when we stop bitching you should be worried. Our complaints mean that we still care enough about the situation to run our mouths (or fingers as the case may be) about it. A lot of people already don’t give a rat’s ass about the city, as examplefied by their unwillingness to vote. You don’t want people to just not care anymore. That’s the path to darkness. As long as we still bitch about you or at you, you’re doing fine.
So enjoy the six months of being on the clouds. It ain’t gonna last. They don’t call Jakarta ‘The Big Durian’ for nothing. The city has a tendency to eat people alive. But maybe, with you, it’ll be less spiky eh? Here’s hoping.
We voted for you Mr. Joko Widodo. We expect.
Best,
Me.
P.S.: Could I ask that your very first policy be the regulation that Padang restaurants have to be open 24 hours? That would really help. Thanks :D.
P.P.S: Oh and beer. We need more beer in this city. Thanks :D.
Newspeak Jakarta 